Social Anxiety: Am I Just a Freak?

Let’s dive into a form of anxiety that affects more people than many might suspect: social anxiety. I myself am someone who struggles with social anxiety (among other forms, yay!) and I can speak to the impact it has on day-to-day life, as well as how to cope with it mentally.

My Experience with Social Anxiety
I have experienced social anxiety for many years. Can I pinpoint the exact moment it started? No. I believe it’s been with me since a very young age, and moving to a new country as a child only amplified it, cementing it into my life. My social anxiety has grown more severe in my mid to late 20s. It was significantly triggered by a social event I had to attend, where I truly began to feel the effects of anxiety and social phobia.

The Spectrum of Social Anxiety
Social anxiety can range from mild to crippling; it’s not a one-size-fits-all condition. It’s unique to each person, so you cannot compare your experience to others’. However, know that you are not alone. My social anxiety does not entirely prevent me from participating in social events, but it does limit me, and at times, it makes me retreat. I don’t find every social gathering comfortable, and unfortunately, the saying “the more you do it, the better it gets” isn’t always true. Sometimes, it’s just as hard as it is. Socializing can really drain the energy of an introvert or a socially anxious person.

Perception and Misunderstanding
Are socially anxious people perceived as freaks or weirdos? Yes, we can be. Should we care? Not in the way that we do. We should shine a light on this mental issue and show the world that humans come in a variety of characteristics, issues, and behaviors. Unfortunately, for a long time, anxiety—especially social anxiety—was not well understood by society. It’s still a relatively new concept, but we’re learning more each day. Chances are, someone you know has it. People with social anxiety can be seen as weirdos because they retreat and avoid social gatherings, which for many people is a normal part of daily life. For some, social interactions are energizing and fulfilling. For socially anxious people or introverts, the opposite is true. Often, social interactions drain us, cause discomfort (both mentally and physically), and deplete our energy.

Individual Variations in Social Anxiety
Is this the case for everyone with social anxiety? No. As I mentioned before, we all face a spectrum of severity and challenges with social interactions. Some of us may find small gatherings or family meetups manageable but struggle with larger events or interactions with new people. For others, even family catch-ups can be an issue. It’s important to remain open-minded about how one might react and feel in these situations, and not to assume that everyone experiences them in the same way.

Acceptance as a Path to Coping
To deal with social anxiety, you must first and foremost ACCEPT that you have it. Running away from it, pushing it aside, or fighting against it won’t make it better or make it go away. In fact, it will only aggravate you and cause more distress. The truth is, you have it. So do many other people. Is it a good or bad thing? Only you have the power to shape that narrative. My advice is to accept it as a part of you in this moment, and do NOT apologize for it.

Living with Social Anxiety
You may live with it your whole life, or you may find one day that it no longer phases you. None of us know the future, nor should we worry about it. What you can do, and what is within your power, is to understand that right now, you enjoy your own solitude, and that’s okay. No one can force you to be a social butterfly or an extrovert, because the truth is, neither being an introvert nor an extrovert is the “right” or “wrong” way to be. We’ve been conditioned by society to believe that being a social butterfly is the only way to be, but this is an extremely narrow-minded approach, and there’s more to humanity than one way of socializing.

Embracing Your True Self
You are not weird. Not a freak. Not different. You are part of the human spectrum. You are beautiful and magical just the way you are. Embrace the fact that you favor solitude. Put yourself first, not others’ judgments or opinions. Show the world that there are a variety of humans with different traits, abilities, and behaviors.

The Power of Honesty
The power to change lies within us. If we want to retreat, we should always feel okay and empowered to do so. The best thing you can do is accept it and be honest with the world around you. I’ve recently learned to be open with others about my limitations and behaviors. As an anxious person, there are certain things I am simply not comfortable doing, and I’ve discovered that hiding them is what can make me seem weird. But being honest about them opens up conversation, awareness, and lifts a lot of pressure off my shoulders. By telling someone I cannot do something due to anxiety, I am embracing my power, acknowledging that it’s okay to be this way, and raising awareness that people like me exist and that we are okay. You might be surprised by how many people respond positively, or even say, “Wow, I have this too!”

You Are Not Alone
We are not alone in our introversion. We are not weird or freaks in any way, shape, or form. You get to build your own story, and if you choose to live in your power, accept your introversion, and see the beauty in it, you will find a sense of weightlessness.

Looking Forward
I can’t cover the entire complexity of social anxiety, its challenges, or all the advice I have in one post, so stay tuned for more empowering posts on social anxiety and other forms of anxiety. The world is bursting at the seams with anxious-minded individuals, and we need to spread awareness.